Again, the monthly routine of not sleeping and having the most fucked up sleeping habits eer possible starts again. While it will take a few days to readjust, by that time, I should be back on nights again.

How I hate shift work. How I hate the casino.

Grumble.

So to clarify, my sleeping habits are as follows. Getting about 3 hours of sleeping before work, then sleeping at work in various different spots and positions for 4 hours, sleeping outside on the bench during my lunch break, waking up after lunch, proceeding to be alert and almost conscious till I get home where I proceed to pass out till 2 am in the morning.

Yes, it is great, all messed up. Atleast I have my appetite back, just finished eating a half pound of bacon (before it got grilled into almost nothing sniff) and two corn dogs after waking up from one of my many slumbers today.

I really dislike that about bacon. You fill up a frying pan with all the greasy fattening meat, and then after 10 minutes you have a third of what you started with left. It is so depressing.

Got into an argument with my mother the other day, of all places while doing my grocery shopping and talking on the cell with her. I was bitching and complaining about something from the other night, and she was countering with how I was wasting my life.

In order to counter back, I asked if me having a good job, a nice car and a nice place to live would be oh so gratifying for me. She responded well of course, then you can do whatever you want and spend all your time with your friends and not worry about anything.

Fuck that.

I am doing whatever I want, I do have enough money to make it by, comfortably atleast, I dont really need all the luxuries in the world to survive. I do get to spend time with the people I want to. And frankly, I still come home everyday pissed off or depressed like a motherfucker. For many reasons which I dont really feel like explaining. Parents, while they still care and only want the best, I do believe my parents are completely oblivious to how truly messed up I am.

Still, there are nights I come home and am completely content with what happened during the day. Those nights are rare and I dont hold my breath thinking that I'll even get more than 2 of those days in any given month.

Since I havent written an entry for a while, I wonder if I wrote about the other night. Probably, or maybe not, I cant really remember. Oh well, its really trivial and I am going to start playing some computer games now and forbid sleep seeing as its really futile to try to fix my sleeping habits right now.

Currently Listening to [Dirty Vegas] - Days Go By