Now I have to fix my comptuer as a worm has hacked its way in, but seeing as its the middle of the morning, I dont really want to attend to this problem. My mind is definately elsewhere.

Things are good, for once I think. There are things on my mind that I cant really explain nor describe, it would be extremely hard to put them into words.

I had a great day today, I dont really get many days where I go out and enjoy myself, have good company and get home at the end of the night feeling just fine. To know that things tomorrow could get better, and have a safety net that says things are still better than before.

While I contemplate a few issues, such as not being able to take that leap of faith sometimes. Some might say thats all it takes to break threshold, but I argue otherwise. I dont want to just jump for it, it seems risky, and very unlike me to take chances like that. I hope that by doing what I am doing and just being there, doing the right thing while expressing my interest will lead to the same result. To work through a lot of problems now, casually and not have to deal with them later.

I imagine if I had just moved on it a long time ago, things would have been a disaster. There is no way to want a perfect relationship in that sense, but the small things always seem to set off one party.

Its stressful at times, not knowing where its going. Maybe there are moments, a good drift might fill the air, but I dont feel secure acting on impulse at times. I want the gradual progress towards it. The harder path, so when the goal is finally obtained, it is treasured that much more.

To pick out what I liked about this day. Many of the simple things, being able to make decisions together. Appreciating the time spent together. Knowing that she was having a good time. I still feel that there is a sense of hostility with other people involved, I hope she trusts that I would take it upon myself to deal with those loose ends if the situation surfaced.

I enjoy her more now than before. Maybe it is because we've worked through so much. While the changes made have been small, it is noticeable in overall attitude and openness. I try to enjoy every moment, and not take anything for granted.

I could easily stress about all sorts of things, but not today. I just feel fine. Maybe the hope that I am on the right path soothes me. It would anger me to be having false hope though. Nothing is worse than that.

She is so adorable sometimes. Her little perks are just that, little things that make her different from everyone else. Those things stand out to me the most, how she sits, how her tone changes, the faces she makes.

Those things can drive a person mad, the little details.

I'd like to think she knows how I feel, and why I do the things I do. You understand dont you? But, it is hard for me to believe that someone could udnerstand me in that way fully and really realize the things that go through my head.

I have my own fears on the whole situation, they loom over me every time I see her face. To another person they would seem trivial, but I guess the lesson so far is that through a different perspective, everything is always different. Nothing is ever truly on the same level for all people, except maybe death.

But for tonight, I cant really ask for anything else. I did everything I had envisioned in my mind, and I guess things turned out alright. Thats all I really hope for.

I promised pictures from the previous nights out, but I'll post them another time, its getting late and the thought of fixing my comptuer right now is just obscene.