Moving again, this'll be the third time moving in under 18 months. Little stressful, but it could be worse. There was actually thought put into this and preparation, and I had nothing to do with either (my roommates did all the work) and frankly I think thats kinda great. Seeing as I want to just be lazy and do nothing right now with my life.

Just sitting here, not much going on it my head. Heard a famaliar song on the radio today. Was listening to the radio for once, as my discman ran out of batteries while I was sitting in my car at the drive thru at mcdonalds. It sucks to wait 15 minutes to get your crappy burgers at 4 am in the morning.

Its funny how things look, after you've been so out of it for a while. The more I look at the workplace, the sicker I feel to my stomach. It used to be better I think, atleast there were people to talk to and not shti flying around as often. Nowadays, ponder. Maybe it was just a bad week, seeing as I got pulled in a few times this week and numerous other bad things like verbal warnings and such.

Really though, I should think more about moving out again, I'll get to mark my territory in the house and hopefully get home cooked meals everyday. Wouldnt that be a major luxury.

My worries are out and about though. Money worries always, the fact that I think I've become a little reckless when it comes to spending money when I am out. Girls, well, they are always a problem, dont really need to write any details except that they are a headache at times.

No idea what I will do for the remainder of this morning. Not in the mood for poker anymore, no possible parties online to game with. Poker sucks in that way, once you lose concentration even for a few games, the playing style just goes downhill. I can sit there and grind out like 40 games easily then get distracted by some online conversation and watch my playing performance just drop from decent to horrible.

Numbing, this boredom at times. I want to have expectations for the next few months, and think that things wil lget better, and maybe I can settle down for longer than just a few months this time. As always, I dont feel like holding my breath for it, a cynics view, something will always go wrong. Dont really know what to expect, from a lot of things.

Maybe I should just plan for my return to school. I was flipping through a Ikea catalogue which was in the bathroom while I was showing the number two who was the boss. All that nice stuff in there, sort of reminded me of the whole fight club mockery of having all those materialistic goods. But then again, to have some style and taste in stuff would be nice wouldnt it? I highly doubt I am the type of person to spend all sorts of money into things I dont use.

But there is some substance there, when yo uget consumed by the goods, they do start to own you and that in turn becomes your life. Meaningless and shallow, but a life nonetheless. I wonder if it would be a step up from what putrid existence I lead right now.

Like every other night, I close by whining. I need an escape again. I need more meaning. I need a cause.