Blah, mind frozen. Acting on just impulse and with that action I shall write whatever thought comes into my mind down.

It is nice this feeling, because I dont have the thought to make any choices and everything I do right now in this state as I pressure my mind to work is jsut so fluid. It is disgusting how natural this feeling feels. Everything just flows softly to the music.

I guess, lately I have been doing this a little too often, for whatever reason really. If other people can justify their choices and continue to make the same mistakes over and over, I still forgive them and tell give them support. So, I mean, if smoking pot makes me content, people should be happy for me that I did find a little escape atleast. Atleast it is just a phase that'll pass out soon enough, these drug binges dont last that long.

Simply starving right now, there is no food in this house I am almost in a panic to flee the house to the new house and start cooking meals again and having forks to eat with and such. I have been eating fast food for like weeks now and my body is starting to reject that and refuse it more often. And I am so hungry now.

I really look forward to the new house, I hope that the new roommate joining us is good and such. I mean, hes a cool guy and it be nice to have someone to hang out with once in a while since the whole hanging out thing didnt work at the last house I was in. I still think if we feed off each other and make each other better in a few ways, it might work out. Hard to say, but I hope for the best there.

A few things to look forward to, a few things to predict. I like gambling too much perhaps, being stoned lets me rest while gambling and focus, almost great. I was extremely frustrated with the night yesterday after losing all that money at poker. It wasnt that I was getting beaten, but that nothing would come up on the board for me.

Frustration. That is all I can say.

I liked the gesture made to me by a friend today. That it was her turn to cheer me up as I was a bit grumpy today upon awakening from my long slumber. Made me smile a bit. Which is a lot, since I really never smile over anything in life because everything around me only depresses me. But its nice in this state, all I see is the keyboard and when I look at the screen, I see my thoughts and how they just ramble on into nothing. Pretty stupid heh.

Cursed to making the same mistakes over again, another thing that I hope changes whether be it influence of fluke soon. A little more esteem to the fire, for the sake of more. Times hurts and head also stings. Been this way a little long now but still ok as my head spins only a bit.

I know what to do, oh yes I do. Things get easier with time and atleast after making mistakes so often, we can slowly adapt and make things better. And now the best song to trip to plays. Loud, confusion all around and simply the joys of not caring. Cause who the fuck cares, if it feels good, do it. Who cares what friends think, in the end they are still friends right? If they dont accept it, well whatever.

Oh my god, this is the best. Moving, out of the mind and nothing matters cause it shouldnt. Everything around you shakes as it gets louder, things make no sense at all and the music flows. Crashing through my thoughts, and nothing, simply nothing there.

The world through simple things, we just get absorbed in something shiny on the ground and it blows our mind. Look, a shiny coin, wow, doesnt it look so SHINY? God, it is just a penny.

A thought, echoing in my mind. Can you trip like I do?

This world is cruel and I dont think now is the time to care or be in anyway soft or weak.

I am going to go, close my eyes, lean back in my chair, and let the environment talk to me. And listen to the echoes of the silence as in reality, nothing around me is really here.