Still in the process of moving and settling down in the new place. So far while there have been minor disputes and such, it does seem like a place that will serve as home for a while for me this time.

However, I dont know how long that will be since I have my own goals for myself, I do think I'll enjoy living here, where like the place before almost did give a feeling of home.

My drug binge came to a stop today, after two weeks straight I've finally had a day away from the slow lucid dream state that is being stoned.

Sometimes I think my actions to be too rash or just very incosinderate of others. I know this, very well, but dont really know what to do about it. I think that not too many people in my life are worth caring about. Cause I mean, I dont think that many people really give a shit about me. But I guess for the people that do mean something to me, I sitll manage to glow with a dark aura when I am around them. T

Darkness always surrounds me, eating up everything else and just spreading filth around my surroundings. Dont know what to do sometimes, its hard to be considerate, it just isnt in my personality.

Back on the point that when girls get mad at you and you dont know it, yeah its true, I simply didnt even know it. Its just, with most people, myself included, the little things set off a chain reaction causing the mood to spiral down. While I think my temper is short, but explosive others are not like me, because not many people can even resemble me period. Hence I think it is unfair for me to be drawing comparisions with other people and comparing them to myself.

Someone cares about my welfare. And upon hearing it, I was confused, what is that word, what does it mean? I would think that I have a pretty adequate vocabulary, and yet this word didnt register to me at all in the context that it was used. It was a very awkward feeling. But in short, it means to care about my own well being.

Who is to judge the things I do. I guess its double standards, sometimes I do want to be jduged and made better, whereas other times I dont want to hear any of it, from anyone. Some things about me should be left alone.

It isnt that I am not aware of what I am doing, I had my reasons and I feel that they were after all in my best interests. I know what I have to do to forget things, I know all too well.

And I will not swallow my pride, ever. for anyone.

It has been a long tiresome day, thoughts for tomorrow rest in my head, I will get myself ready for bed right now.