It seems, that lately I have been in this surreal trance of mind. Where nothing really matters, everything is rather mellow.

It isnt so bad, I feel numb all over. Everything is so trivial when I really think about it, and hence there isnt that much really worth stressing over or even considering.

I dont know, maybe its the drugs, they have sort of taken over my life right now. Whenever I am not working I would prefer to be messed up. Atleast things make less sense then. I enjoy it for the simple reason that I just dont care.

That is the point, that I jsut dont care. I dont care enough for thigns to happen, whatever does, will, whatever wont, will be avoided.

I havent even had energy this week to play comptuer games till today. The rest of the week well, I dont know its just been that numb. I am coughing again, probably inhaled too much shit from that home made water bong. But again, it doesnt matter that I feel miserable. For the msot part, I am just content.

There are, as always, thoughts on my mind. However they do not consume me anymore. They are more of the, if I get too bord, I might consider type of deals. Nothing concrete or for sure. Just sitting around watching, listening and trying to forget everything else.

I dont know. I dont really trust anyone or anything right now. Suspicious looking people every day look right back at me.

I went and spent a lot of moeny on a new pair of sunglasses. They were by far the most elegant waste of money I have done to date. Minus loaning money to certain morons who would call me friend. It was nice, almsot a thrill to unload so much moeny, onto something so trivial.

Did I need a new pair? No, would it have been ebtter to avoid buyign such an item? Totally. But in the grand scheme of things, why should I really care? I feel the need to enjoy this, to hold it and feel it, and just flaunt it showing fuck you I can do what I want.

And so I wander off, probably back to bed, cause I am burning out, much to my dismay.