I believe, that lost amongst this confusion and lack of purpose and sense, we have found something.

I was driving home one of my coworkers, someone who has probably been against the odds like I consider my own situation to be. But yet, he found some meaning and is happy with how things turned out. He was happy with himself.

And now that is a state of joy, happiness overrides everything. I mean, even as I think about it, I hate so many things right now and do my best to just lose myself in a lazy state of being lazy. That is what I enjoy, just wasting time because I can. In that state of mind, I am happy and I know it, because I dont really worry about anything.

So thats the solution. Work towards that state. I have to go towards a goal, to make myself be able to have that position of happiness everyday of my life, or atleast for the majority.

And now how to get there. I thought, perhaps school? No, it would be a long term possibility. Lets consider something else, investments. I got a good amount of cash, and I know that my own parents have been living off the stock market for several years now. Why not research, and test out this so called safe form of gambling. I am certain my parents would support this new found interest in financial security.

I mean, I think I'd actually be the fucking happiest person out there, if I didnt have to work at all. Or the work I did, I did on my own terms and did as I pleased, and independent part of society living its luxuries.

Then regardless of what is happening in my life, I can do what I want. Cause I mean, the thing that creates the utmost stress in my life, is having to work to scrape on by. There is no security in this. Hence, no time to really enjoy the things I personally want to do.

I will have to consider this goal.

Investments. But more importantly, working towards a state of mind. Because after all this time of complaining about nothing in my life that carried any enjoyment to me. We found some. We put it into words and can now visualize it.

Finally, I have found something to do. Something perhaps that will drive my life to something that we know is going to be better ocne obtained.

Something actually work working towards.

Wow, and now another surreal turn of events. It appears someone I've known for years, is in the same situation with me. A person who made money off investments, started his own company and is will, probably near the position I would like to be.

I now, search up someone, to seek advice, and possible insight on this situation I have mentally laid out.

There is jsut so much enlightenment in my mind right now, it is totally racing at all these new found possibilities in what we thought was another dead end.