Have that interview tomorrow, little nervous, but probably for the different reasons.

Nervous that I might actually get it, nervous that I might actually be wanting more responsibility. A new challenge, something we've hid from for a logn time. A desire to prove to everyone and myself included that I deserve better and am capable of better.

Am I setting those high expectations for myself again I am not sure. It has been so long, since I was a person who wanted nothing but to be the best.

I am not sure, it scares me in a way. Maybe this is just another threshold for me, a day where I can make a choice. To choose between adopting a new mask, a new status. Or to simply crawl back to the comfort zone, where nothing is expected.

To be content being just another one of the masses.

Somehow I jsut dont think it is for me. And this, instead drives me for something else. I am uncertain.

I had plans for today, but instead I did nothing but destroy my mind, an hour at a time.

I am just deciding which path to take. It burns away at me, like a splinter in the back of my mind. And what I pick, will turn illusion to reality.

Or it could just be another failure. However, we are fairly confident that with the exception of the opposite sex since they are by far the most simple and yet stupidly complicated bitchy vile creatures, we have complete control over what will happen to us.

So with that, I am going to sign off, watch another movie and head to bed.

Of course, I'll be destroying my mind, and wasting time also.