Close my eyes, watch the world around me succumb to the darkness that I control.

It is funny, in a melodramatic way, how while everyone struggles to define themselves, nothing is ever accomplished. That no matter how hard we try, there is very little reality we can obtain from our hopes and dreams of a better person.

Better is such a contradicting statement. The way that we see a better person is different from the person next to me. My idea of perfection is different. My idea of being good is different. My idea of being smart is different.

Such different perspectives. If we strive to make the right decision, how can we possibly make a correct decision when there are so many things we cant even possibly consider into the equation. Everyone has a different story, a different perspective, a different way of twisting things around.

Maybe it is just my workplace.

That appears to be a naive thought though.

I wonder if there is anything a person can do to truly surprise me. It has to be some totally out of character moment. People are so predictable, the more time you spend with them. Is that normal? Thats like, getting adjusted to them? I cant believe I honestly dont know the answer.

Its not that I am a completely soulless person.

I just have some trouble trying to wrap my mind around these things.

My simple statement is, if young people are so openly corrupt and driven by selfish desires. How exactly do they suddenly smarten up and turn into a true adult?

We all tell ourselves things, for whatever reason. But the one common flaw we all have is that we can be controlled by emotions. Once there is feeling, desire, sensation involved, everything just really is a coin flip.

Imagine a painful situation. Recall what exactly hurt you, the exact moments of realization that you had been indeed hurt emotionally. Then try to see the perspective of the other person. Dont think about the ideal solution, which is basically your own mind telling yourself some something to convince you of your innocence or whatever. Think about the worst case scenario solution.

Best case is telling yourself that happy story. Worst case is that it was your fault.

I dont know the point of this. But consider the position if you were the other person, driven by whatever reason since you cant really be sure unless you actually asked them.

Could you do the same thing?

Would you do the same thing?

Dont lie to yourself.

I am willing to admit, that I would probably consider making the same decision. It would be in the list of options. For certain.

It is all luck, everyone is flawed and capable of going just wrong.

For some people, they got all the luck, for others, we just lose.

Another simple question.

Ask yourself, before making a choice. What if?

Of course, again this is probably how I differ from people, because I hesitate a lot of choices with doubt. However I dont think I really suffer more from it.

I try to make the right decision.

But is it in my best interests, or someone elses?

I think most people are thinking about themselves.

I should try that more.