My whole body aches, been going hard at the gym this week. A new goal, hopefulyl a new devotion.

I lost qutie a bit of money today at the casino, probably some of the worst poker I've played yet. I really dont know how to explain it, it was jsut painful.

Sigh, not much on my mind, irritated about some things, most online relationships and such. My place of escape is jsut getting more and more lame everyday. I've been playing that game since 97, it seems so long. Its been such a big part of my life and now its just as disappointing as everything and everyone else in my life.

Is anything ever meant to last?

I could whine about the game, but I dont think its something I want to stress over. Just a game. A game that I should have finished a long time ago.

I wonder why I still hang around. Its strange. If it was something I could touch and feel, I dont think I would have devoted so much to it. I would have walked away. Just like I do with everything else.

Christmas season again. I dont really remember what I was doing last year, or the year before that. This year is already different than most as I have to go christmas shopping for once. Not just regular shopping either, like shopping for family and such is different. This year I have friends I have to buy gifts for.

Talking to an old friend right now, just catching up. Rather early in the morning. I have decided to pull an all nighter and goto sleep early today/tomorrow in order to be ready for work on saturday.

Oh I dont know, maybe a short nap would do me some good. Feeling rather sluggish right now anyways.

Devoid of just thought, I wish I could just ignore everything once again, this time online.

I need a hobby.

I need more new things. Something deemed acceptable by the masses. Just so I can fit in better and not have to spend so much time hiding.

Sigh.