Really cold outside. My car didnt start today, because I didnt plug it in, I am kind of lazy in that sense. The car has never let me nor my parents down in some 15 years, till today. But it was extremely frosty outside and isnt getting any better anytime soon.

Absolutely hate the weather these days. Always so cold, even when I hardly spend time outside, I cant wait for it to warm up a little so maybe I might be tempted to go outside.

Sigh.

Still feeling rather antisocial this month. Pulling myself away from coworkers and such, for my own personal reasons.

That workplace will be the end of me.

I have been saying it for so long, and havent found any motivation or energy to look for a new job. The sickening thing is the job pays me enough, the anguish and stress I endure though probably isnt worth the price, but I struggle onwards.

Really though, there isnt that much in my own life that I do hold dear or whatever. Its just life. I am unattached to most things in it. The only things that appeal to me are the addictions in life.

Bless this addictive personality that was bestowed upon me.

Lacking focus, lacking interest. Yet, my mind wanders when I think about getting the things I would like in life.

Time.

I would like the time that was taken away from me. Wasted resources spent on people that werent worth my time. Wasted money, time, effort, thought and sometimes feeling on nothing more than a piece of shit. Sure sometimes it had a pretty face, sometimes it was a friend, hell sometimes it might have been enjoyable.

So many friends who have betrayed my trust.

When the time comes, I'll get back whats mine. I try not to dwell on it and have hope that there is some purpose for all of this.

I highly doubt it though.

There is not a single outstanding person that I know of right now. Everyone is just as corrupt as the person behind them and ahead of them.

I am certain, I am just as corrupt.

Or perhaps not. Maybe out of everyone, I am the only one still standing next to the morals I set for myself.

But who knows, how can you really understand anyone. There own desires and needs are there own to understand.

Mine appear to be simple.

But I dont know what I want.